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A letter to my 2018

Faizan Patankar on 25 December 2018

2018 has come to an end. I am facing the same problem I face every year.

To write the end of year post.

Usually, I write a review of how the year went. Keeping it rather formal on most occasions. Because it's important to manage the message... I thought.

Something happened this year that I thought would never happen to me.

I lost all the data on my server. And there wasn't a backup.

In short, I lost all the blogs I had written.

Yep. All of it from 2011 onwards.

I am at peace with it now.

So although this isn't technically my first review, this is going be the first review online. And I am not going to do a review post. It's boring.

I am going to write a letter.

A letter to my 2018.

Dear 2018,

It's almost the end of the year and as usual, there were ups and downs this year.

Having become a dad for the first time in Nov 2017, the start of 2018 was difficult, very difficult. I had a new role at work that I was getting to grips with. And a new role at home, as a dad, that I had no idea about. Add to this for the first 6 months I had my wife's parents and then my parents visit us and stay with us. I was completely unprepared for so much responsibility.

I had more of my hair turn white in the first six months of 2018 than the whole time until then.

Six months is what it took for me to make sense of things and get some sort of organisation in life. Since then it has been a positive year. A lot of positive and negative energy fighting each other. But the positive nudging out the negative.

I have never hidden from the fact that I want to be an entrepreneur. And being in the startup ecosystem in 2018 has helped. It has helped me learn.

Having your own startup and having a kid is quite similar. There is nothing you love more in your life, that you are so little prepared for.

I have grown in my personal and professional life this year. And there are some things worth bringing out.

Questions

I've asked a lot of questions.

Of myself, of others, of this world. I now realise how little I know. There is so much to learn. And that journey will continue for me. But I am coming to peace to understanding that some questions are answered long after they've been asked.

Not everything makes sense "in the moment".

Health

In summary, I've been awful at it. If there's one thing I definitely need to focus on is health.

Mental health and physical health.

I've had too many instances of working over 24 hours non-stop. That has to stop. And when I do sleep, I have to improve my average 4-hour sleep schedule.

It's difficult aiming to get to 8 hours of sleep. But I aim to take 6 hours of sleep on average in 2019.

Physical well-being has to improve. The way I am going now, it is unsustainable. And I really don't want to be the guy who doesn't smile or enjoy life because of poor health. 2018 has been all about screwing up mental and physical well-being chasing some audacious dreams. I have to find a way of being audacious without screwing up health.

To summarise: 2018 was a fantastic year.

And one person who's been through it all with me is my wife, Asya.

She's seen me at my best and worst in 2018. And just as I was struggling to be a good father, she naturally took charge of parenting with being an amazing mother.

Asya has a job, is a mother, pretty much runs the house, and runs a small online e-commerce business on the side.

In a way, she is the inspiration. She affords me all the time I want to do what I believe in, for the future.

Thank-you Asya.

p.s. Asya runs a small business that sells halal gifts for women. You should definitely check out her store.

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